False Accusations do Hurt

Today was a rough day. My stomach was in knots and my anxiety showed. No, I'm fine. All is well in Oregon. Family are good. Dogs too. I was anxious for tonight's speech. I read on Twitter the BernieorBust kids intended to disrupt Hillary Clinton's big speech. I feared boos during her moment. This actually troubled me the whole day.

No, I don't know Hillary. I don't think I even know anyone who does know her. We aren't linked in any particular way; I haven't been a direct beneficiary of her work. For much of her career, I've found her too hawkish, too much an opportunist. Opportunist. Now, isn't that interesting? It's another way of saying ambitious. I know some ambitious people but they have different anatomy. Why does her ambition bother people?

Where I've connected with her is as a leader who faced difficult times. Being someone with a clear vision and willing to do the hard work to get things done isn't easy -- not in politics and not in education. You see, I moved from being a popular teacher to a controversial administrator. In each of my leadership roles, there was someone working to undermine me, someone who made me divert productive time to address allegations and discontent. One person, actively working to attack your principles, your life's work, your integrity, your competence, can get more traction than you'd think.

In my first principal job, I had an employee who resented me. She told me she'd only support me if I accepted her as my mentor. I did not. I heard these crazy allegations of things I'd supposedly said, done, or intended. I tried to focus instead on the school we were trying to build. But there is nothing more hurtful than being wrongly accused, at least for me. So how do you respond -- through the hurt? You stay calm, you show no emotion, you address the issue and treat it as a valid concern. Later, if you get home before your husband falls asleep, you unload. Then in the morning, you are smiles and cheerfulness; veneer face.

My second administrative job was as Director of Special Education for our district and I dealt with some of the same while trying to do a hard job well.

Later, I asked to be a building principal again. The superintendent charged me with "civilizing" the high school I was to lead. Yes, that was his word. The school had been poorly managed for too long. Yes, there were great teachers, parents, kids and classified staff. But staff complained of lax attendance (often a class of 25 would only have 6 show up) and rules were applied to poor kids but sometimes not athletes or kids from powerful families. Two thirds of graduates never attended college or trade school. Nearly half of freshmen never graduated.

With the overwhelming support of the staff, we imposed some strict rules, some of them like my previous high school. Attendance came immediately under control, college enrollment rose to 83% of graduates, rules were enforced fairly to all, administrator visibility and whole staff efforts to focus on positive behavior helped the students become considerate and welcoming to visitors and to each other. There was more too, but suffice it to say that I don't work hard for a difficult change without seeing it through. The lucky thing for the next principal is that maintaining standards is a fifth the work of imposing them initially. Teachers and other staff were appreciative of the work we did and the outcomes we achieved.

But there was one. One employee who dedicated himself to undermining me. I don't think his accusations landed much with staff, but he was determined and managed to convince a group of students. He carried his complaints to the district office where, shortly after I arrived, the principal I replaced had become superintendent -- the one whose mess I had been charged with cleaning up.

The superintendent decided (as many Americans have) that if there were allegations, there must be a reason. There were crazy accusations and negative spins on good things that were happening. Again, I learned to listen, respond calmly, show respect, and move on. There were hurtful things, very hurtful things. I pretended to have thicker skin than I really do. I hid my hurt and focused on the work that needed to be done.

Hillary Clinton has endured many, many more crazy accusations, high budget investigations, subpoenas for everything but her baby teeth, and a public and a media that assumes that "where there's smoke there's fire". If there have been so many "scandals", she must be lying. She must be dishonest. She must be crooked.

I look at her and see someone a hell of a lot stronger than me. I finally gave up. It just wasn't worth defending myself against nonsense, working 70 hour weeks to improve my school, and even crying myself to sleep.

I bet she has unloaded to her family and friends in confidence too. I imagine the tears flowing when no one is around. I can see her struggling not to keep reliving the latest cruelty as her head hits the pillow. I see it because I've been there. I suspect most of us have.

I've read everything anyone has suggested about her alleged crimes. In 25 years and god knows how many billions in investigation expenses, how many subpoenas and witnesses, there's still nothing of consequence. Now I've lived a squeaky clean life, but you hire full-time staff to investigate every inch of it, give them an unlimited expense account, and I'll bet there will be something that looks bad, whether or not it really was.

I'd like Americans to make up their own minds. Shut down the noise -- the accusations and name-calling and silly memes -- and stick to the facts. She's tough, which makes her unlikable to some who prefer their women sweet and soft. She's ambitious, just like every person who ever entered politics. If we can stop hating long enough to examine, we might find a person who can do the job for us.